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THE WEEKLY
WIPE
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Trip to Wendy's classified as productive
December 13, 2007 | Issue 4-50
According to Singer, who is currently unemployed but beginning to research how
to become a movie critic, Tuesday’s productivity may just be the tip of a
new-found industrious iceberg.
“Heck, if I can get myself out of bed and to Wendy’s by mid-afternoon, there may
be a whole energetic side of me to explore,” said the 29-year-old, who routinely
sustains himself through a rotation of microwaveable items ranging from Hot
Pockets to generic brand mozzarella sticks. “Don’t get me wrong. This is
something to ease into, but with some commitment I think a good stretch goal
would be making it to McDonald’s in time for breakfast by the new year.”
The junior college graduate’s last fruitful venture outside his home, eight days
prior to the Wendy’s journey, came when he borrowed his father’s car and drove
to a nearby movie theater to watch the video-game-based movie Hitman.
“That was a good movie no matter what the critics say,” said Singer, a video
game and movie aficionado. “I was out for about three hours that night, though.
You can imagine how beat I was the next day. I couldn’t get out of bed until 2
p.m., but I had to force myself to get up for Law & Order on TNT. If I don’t
keep some kind of schedule my life might begin to lose focus.”
Singer’s mother is hopeful her son will continue his recent pattern of leaving
the house and looks forward to the day he finds a steady job. “I think Kurt is
just in a strange place right now, and he will come out of it soon,” said
Annette Singer, an attorney in downtown Chicago. “I’m hoping he will consider
going back to school. He would make a great teacher.”
A former Blockbuster assistant manager, Singer left the company to pursue
“something else” but has considered returning to the entertainment rental field
to work as an independent consultant. He has found the current movie and gaming
expert market to be a tough one so far.
“The big players just aren’t willing to invest in outside consultants right
now,” said a despondent Singer. “Possibly when things settle down after the
holidays they will begin to reassess their needs. I have a lot of knowledge when
it comes to the movie and video game rental business. I single-handedly made
Cube 2 a seven-time rental at my location.”
Singer said he intends to take it one step at a time, beginning with his goal of
a McDonald’s breakfast and hopefully building up to searching for employment by
mid-2008.
“Wait, McDonald’s still serves breakfast until 11:30, right?” asked Singer,
doubting his ability to meet a breakfast cutoff time of 11 a.m., much less
something as ridiculous as 10:30 a.m.
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