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ALBANY, N.Y.—A University at Albany sophomore just finished reading a self-help book that will lead to profound changes in her life for the next 17 days. Jill Schafer vowed her life would be different after finishing the last chapter of 8 Steps to Happiness through Self-fulfillment on Monday, saying she now realizes constructive methods of cultivating her intrinsic joy to create her own personal ‘happy bubble.’ However, the young student said she will only practice the newly learned techniques for the next 17 days, as she will return to campus August 20 for fall semester courses.

Only two days since she completed 8 Steps to Happiness through Self-fulfillment, Schafer is already kneading the negativity out of her life dough and using the rolling pin of hope to form her foundation of delight, well on her way to a life-cake of positive energy.

“It’s great, and I’ve never felt happier or more confident with who I am,” said the U at A general studies major. “It’s so easy while I’m at home with my parents because there isn’t really anything to do.”

Schafer said it would be unreasonable to try to continue practicing her new skill set when back in classes because she will have to devote so much energy to concentrating on her studies, focusing on extra-curricular activities and making poor decisions at fraternity parties.

“I’m able to smile at life’s little joys now,” said Schafer. “but my extreme insecurities will cause me to make terrible decisions to gain acceptance when I’m back at school.”

The newly-enlightened Schafer also said the eight-step process outlined in the book is likely more than she will implement in the next 17 days and regrets not opting for alternative self-help books that offered total happiness in only three or four steps.