Plan to turn life around sabotaged by Cops marathon | The Giant Napkin

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Plan to turn life around sabotaged by Cops marathon

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March 24, 2009 | Issue 6-6

SPRINGFIELD, Ill. – Despite lofty plans aimed at leaving the house to purchase a newspaper and peruse it for potential jobs, Gary Linkler’s sincere desire to become employed and his best intentions at doing so were incapacitated by a four-hour marathon of police-based reality show Cops airing this afternoon on the Fox Reality channel. Linkler, 38, hoped today would be what he optimistically described at “the first day of the rest of [his] life,” but just moments after waking up to his alarm clock and pouring a bowl of Coco Puffs just before 1 p.m., an extended display of the dramatic cop show began, rendering Linkler motionless for the majority of the afternoon. Though Linkler was unable to begin the next great chapter in his promising existence today, he reportedly took solace in managing to assess himself as more affluent and less addicted than all non-police persons appearing on Cops.

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