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THE WEEKLY
WIPE
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Midwest snow storm dumps inches more relevance over East Coast
February 7, 2008 | Issue 5-06
NEW
YORK – A snowstorm that playfully danced its way over the middle portion of the
United States earlier this week, lightly dusting the Midwest with a little more
than a foot of snow in some parts and killing only four, suddenly dumped inches
more relevance as it settled over the East Coast today. According to
meteorologists, early this morning a major winter storm entered the region and
is expected to produce record amounts of significance as it remains over the
Northeast, where people will now have to deal with the inconvenience and damage
caused by the previously inconsequential blizzard.
The storm is expected to continue through early
Friday morning, affecting every state with residents of any consequence.
Added Cantore, “What we’re seeing now with this storm is it is snowing in
places people inhabit, which really is creating havoc, as you can see by
this live footage of important East Coast residents being forced to brush
off their own cars and shovel their own walkways.”
News networks all over the area scrambled into
streets to collect footage highlighting the ferocity of the storm. “We
need to show the world how brutal it is to walk downtown with the wind
blowing snow into your face,” said Erika Tarantal, New York WNBC Channel 4
field reporter, who hopes to get a shot of a pedestrian’s umbrella turning
inside out. “People in other parts of the United States and other nations
need to understand the plight of people in this region.”
The storm has already been blamed for ruining dozens
of pairs of Italian leather shoes throughout the Northeast and is expected
to only get worse during Thursday’s rush hour, having the potential to
delay millions of commuters and threatening to bury newscasts in feet of
fluffy white journalism.
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“We have already seen a blanket of relevance fall
over Pennsylvania and western New York State,” said Jim Cantore, Weather
Channel meteorologist. “And people in eastern New York, New Jersey, New
Hampshire and Massachusetts, should begin seeing significant accumulation
of media coverage by mid-morning.”
