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HOUSTON—A very annoying eight-year-old child completely ruined an absolutely hilarious Seinfeld rerun this Wednesday by going and getting himself abducted. Kyle Spade was more than five minutes into his favorite Seinfeld episode in which the cast is caught in the midst of a Puerto Rico Day celebration. “Then before Jerry even got into the lane-change battle with the guy in the maroon Golf, some news guy breaks into the show and starts talking about some irresponsible child who was dumb enough to get kidnapped,” said Spade. “Sure, they cut back to the show in time for me to see Kramer accidentally setting the Puerto Rican flag on fire, but it just wasn’t the same without certain plot points.” Spade added that he never got abducted when he was younger and wonders if this particular child did so specifically to irritate him.