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THE WEEKLY
WIPE
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Homeless guys can't believe somebody threw this stuff away
January 17, 2008 | Issue 5-03
The men found the virtual treasure chest in an alley behind a condominium
building. “At first I thought it was someone’s home,” said Herbert Lester, who
discovered the cornucopia of semi-useful items with fellow homeless guy Dale
Pauley. “We got to looking around and we realized some person actually threw
these things out.”
The two destitute men found great item after great item, sorting through the
goods some really rich man probably threw away in order to make room for a
swimming pool or something.
“Still a little left in the bottom,” said Lester of a mostly-consumed jar of
strawberry preserves. “That’ll still make a nice glaze over this piece of
lettuce.”
Finding items such as the wheel from an office chair, a shoebox, and a seemingly
unused drinking straw, Lester and Pauley are beginning to feel their ship has
come in. They are even discussing trading items they found for some luxuries.
“We could easily trade this half of a can opener, this window screen, and this
empty ketchup bottle for a brand new shopping cart,” said Lester, who has always
traded for used carts in the past because it made more sense. “Yes, things
should be different now.”
Meanwhile, Pauley is hoping to use several of the found items to make one of his
long-time dreams become a reality. “I’ve always wanted a houseboat,” said
Pauley, who once lived under a bridge by the Schuylkill River. “I would watch
those boats go by and I knew that was for me. I think if I can put this two by
four back together and fix the crack in this thermos, I’ll have a good start.”
While the homeless duo feels blessed with newfound riches, they have not
forgotten the resourcefulness they have learned over the years.
“Look at all these,” said an animated Pauley, noticing at least a dozen used tea
bags at the back of the dumpster near a discarded mop head. “See, tea bags are
good for more than one use. Not everybody knows that.”
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