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If I don't conserve this office's binder clips, who will?

Well, there comes a time when you just have to realize you alone can prevent certain travesties, and, for me, that time is now. A line in the carpet must be drawn, and, besides, if I don’t conserve this office’s binder clips, who will?

I knew it would come to this, and now I will have to lay down the law when it comes to the utter and widespread gross misuse of binder clips by office scofflaws. Last week, I saw Jim in accounting use one to keep his lunch sack closed before he put it in the fridge. A lunch sack? Nice try, Jim. Not to mention how prolonged exposure to low temperatures could greatly diminish the life span of a clip, I assume.

And sure that was bad, but how about the entire marketing department? They think it’s more convenient to simply throw away a stack of papers with the binder clip still attached! And that’s fine if you want to start seeing a frenzy o’ Frasier. I won’t stand for it any longer. The thing is, these clips don’t grow on trees, and as long as it’s my job to order them from Staples, I vow that no person in this office will be taking those little metallic miracles for granted.

Maybe I should just let management take care of it. Pshaw! As if they actually do anything around here. No, this place simply wouldn’t tick without me, and it’s because of the unnoticed small injustices I right on a daily basis. From nagging custodial staff clean the inside of the toilet tank to making passive aggressive comments to delivery people about their varied arrival times, I just get things done here.

So this isn’t the first time I’ve had to clean up the actions in this office, and it probably won’t be the last. I’m in charge of ordering office supplies, and I refuse to go over budget. I don’t really know what the budget is exactly because someone else sort of tells me what to order. But I imagine we’re getting pretty close to going over, and my crusade to end the misappropriation of binder clips is just one way to keep that budget in check.

As I sit here now I can see stupid Michelle in customer service chewing on one. Excuse me, but it’s time to lay down the binder clip law and politely tell her not to do that.

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