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BEAVERCREEK, Ohio – Lung cancer patient Sarah McElroy gratuitously purchased a 100-ounce container of laundry detergent this week, just hours after doctors told her she would not live more than 30 days. “There is no way she will do that much laundry before her time is up,” said Dr. Roy Felber, a lung cancer specialist. “She will be far too debilitated and depressed for that.” McElroy, however, said the larger bottle made more financial sense and she could not pass up the deal. “The savings will comfort me as I fade quickly into the throes of death,” McElroy painstakingly whispered.