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TOP STORY

BlackBerry outage renders millions less annoying

RIM assured everyone that no annoyance or offensiveness was lost, but rather stored in a queue during the outage and released upon the public once service was restored. [more]

 

NAPKIN NEWS RADIO

The Minute Or So Long News with Foster Pierce

 

Gilmore Girls box set hidden in doorbell-induced panic

 


NEWS IN BRIEF

Pastry shop explosion leaves six city blocks delicious

 


FEATURED OPINION

Happy employees are just too hard to scare by Dawson Radcliffe

 

 

PEOPLE

Friends to definitely get here any time now          

SPORTS

Conversation with mascot getting a little awkward at four-minute mark


FROM THE WIRE

Clinton ahead of Obama in nation of Ohio

Senate includes Super Soakers in waterboarding ban
Shaq uses trade to Suns as excuse to purchase a couple more homes

Bernanke: "I have no idea"

Writers return with fury of hilariously relevant picket line humor