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MEMPHIS, Tenn. – “April Fools,” according to local resident Robert Pinkston countless times today after pretty much any statement he made.

From declarations like “Your shoe is untied” to a more rabble-rousing “Your wife is dead, Jim,” the majority of Pinkston’s dialogue today has been and will continue to be propagated for his unyielding desire to shout “April Fools.”

For this 33-year-old husband and father, the first day of April is what he lives for year after year. “There are so many uncertainties in life, but I can always count on April 1,” said Pinkston, an accounts receivable manager, who later today will accuse one an employee of stealing petty cash and back up his allegations with fictional video evidence of a look-alike he hired to make the gag realistic.

“That will be my big one of the day,” Pinkston said. “She’ll probably be crying, and I’ll have security escort her out. Then I’ll run around to the parking lot and yell ‘April Fools’ as she turns over her key card.”

Pinkston, who prepares months in advance for the springtime day of mischief, began the morning by falsely informing his 7-year-old son there was no school due to the 14 inches of snow outside. “You should have seen how bad he fell for that,” said the once-a-year jokester, who remembered using that same anecdotal yarn on his younger brother 20 years ago today.

“By December, I’m already outlining ideas for great jokes,” added Pinkston, who said today’s petty cash gag took three months to coordinate. “It’s all worth it when you see your mark fall for your prank, like the time my wife went into that hilarious panic when she thought I fell off a ladder. That took some coordination because someone else had to throw the dummy off the roof while I lay motionless on the driveway doused in fake blood.”

Pinkston said that even though his pranks are sometimes received poorly by his victims, he is only sorry about one thing: April Fools Day only comes once a year.