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THE WEEKLY WIPE

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27-year-old man found wed in suburbs

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April 15, 2008 | Issue 5-15

SCHAUMBURG, Ill. – David Blue’s life was cut short Sunday when friends discovered the 27-year-old investment representative wed in his suburban Chicago home.

 

After friends made several attempts to revive him with televised sports and invitations to attend area bars, Blue was pronounced wed at the scene when friends checked his ring finger. A cause of marriage was not immediately known.

 

Friends are left searching for answers as to how a seemingly mentally fit young man turned up wed with so much of his life ahead of him.

 

Blue’s untimely departure may have been the result of a long-term relationship that became serious in 2002 and developed into full-blown marriage almost three years ago, leading to a severely altered lifestyle for the former sports fan and one-time independent thinker.

 

“I had noticed differences. He never used to do any lawn work before, and then he traded his Grand Prix for a minivan,” said Brad Decker, Blue’s college roommate. “He never was the same after he moved from downtown.”

 

John Dean, Blue’s friend of 13 years, first noticed Blue in his basement and found him unresponsive to repeated requests to watch the game. “He just sat there saying he would have to check with someone named Susan. That’s when we started to fear he was wed and gone forever.”

 

Blue is survived by nine bachelor friends.

 

Relationships affect more than 70 million American men, with 65 percent of those cases developing into advanced-stage marriage. Marriage can spring up suddenly in men and often affects a sufferer’s ability to make autonomous decisions and fraternize with other men.

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